Woah News

Jeff Bezos, once the wealthiest man in the world, suddenly becomes bankrupt. Jeffrey Preston Bezos is an American entrepreneur, media proprietor, investor, and computer engineer. He is the founder and executive chairman of Amazon, where he previously served as the president and CEO. After a recent investigation news finding Jeff Bezos losing all of his money and buiness has apperead, how come? How could this happen?? Investigations show Jeff Bezos was enjoying a bottle of piss as he was taking a break inside Woah News factories. Here he was making a buisness deal where he planned to own a private news channel where he would post news on his buiness. For more information we look at a transcribed interview taken from the morning show right out of WoahNews factories, here we have Melissa: "Here we are right outside of WoahNews factories, it has come apparent Jeff Bezos, inside the factory, has been making a deal with our CEO, Hendrick Peterson, where he will have a private news channel running at 9pm-9:30pm EST,however it seems currently Jeff himself is on break, and having a drink? Huh? Whats this? Jeff is drinking urine it seems? Oh my! What is this? Jeff, he could get terribly sick my god. As we can see Jeff was drinking not only urine, but a whole bottle infact, what future consequences could this hold to Jeff's personal health? We continue to look further. At 7pm, a local report finds that Jeff had been home, lying on the ground, where he was found by his wife who had just come from work. Jeff was immediately rushed to the hosptial as he was deemed unconscious. After Jeff and an ambulance arrive to the hospital he was rushed into an emerency room as he was put on life support! "Oh gee" One doctor exclaimed, "My goodness we have never seen anything like it" another one said. Jeff was diagnosed with Piss Overload Syndrome, an illness that had only been diagnosed once, by doctors across america, the only other victim, Elon Musk, was said to had recovered swiftly after drinking a cup of piss. However, this case was different. Jeff's condition has worsend to a point where it would cost a fortune for any sort of medical work to help in any sort of way. Thats it. Jeff Bezos, suddenly barely regaining consciousness asks, "What am I doing here", a doctor replies quickly,"Oh Bezos, you're conscious! Listen, you have been diagnosed with POS, no time to explain, you will be dead in 1 hour if we can not treat you. The procedure will cost 201.7 Billion dollars.". "*Cough* A-alright Ill do whatever it takes". And so we have it, Jeff recovered allright, however is it really allright? He spent all of his money! None left! And even worse, he is no longer able to work at Amazon anymore, while he was unconscious the amazon factories and shit had a time bomb that was ticking and fucking exploded, only Bezos new the passcode that wouldve stopped it. Everyone is dead. Life is misserable. Could this be it? Could this be the end for this former multibillionaire, entrepreneur, and once seen living legend, we'll see next time. Report on WoahNews.

-Joseph Salona